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First Impressions Reviews

Autumn 2020 First Impressions – I’m Standing on a Million Lives

Can a loner learn to work as part of a team?

Streaming: Crunchyroll

Episodes: 12

Source: Manga

Summary: Yosuke Yotsuya is a bit of a loner. He lives in Tokyo, one of the most populous cities in the world, and yet his desire to spend his time on his own and play video games has become almost a compulsion at this point. One day after school, he notices two of his female classmates, Shindou and Hakozaki, waiting around and casting glances in his direction. Suddenly the girls disappear and the blackboard Yosuke is cleaning becomes filled with mysterious imagery.

Yosuke finds himself drawn into a mysterious void with Shindou and Hakozaki, where he faces a strange being with half a face who provides him with some difficult-to-parse information about the situation in which he’s now involved. He’s become part of a game – one that echoes the fantasy RPGs that Yosuke likes to play. But his class roll is dismal – Farmer – and his other party members are almost as pathetic in their lack of ability. Their quest to destroy some goblins goes as poorly as it possibly could, and a chance encounter with a giant troll leaves Shindou dead and Hakozaki missing a hand. Unfortunately, the other part of their team’s assignment is to fulfill a quest for the local villagers, and that quest is to destroy the very troll that nearly obliterated the party the previous night. It’s then that Yosuke takes it upon himself to “level up” on his own. If his own playing style is any indication, doing things without others’ help is the way to go.

Impressions: Screen captures are taken using the official legal stream of the series, when available.

Sometimes being a loner is the way to go, especially according to Yosuke.

There are times when I’m watching anime and get the urge to pause and take a break from it multiple times in a half an hour. Sometimes it’s because it’s so good that I don’t want for the experience to end. In other cases, it’s because the episode is so frustrating that I just need to walk away for a minute. I got up from my computer three or four times throughout my viewing of this episode, and it wasn’t because I was getting too hyped to continue; I just caught myself really struggling to keep my focus.

I’m of the opinion that any type of character can be a compelling character in the right hands. It’s primarily a matter of how realistic they feel and whether their situation and personal motivations are established with care. There are moments throughout this episode where Yosuke feels like a misanthropic jerk; in the opening scenes of the episode, he revels in the fact that he’s alone in this violent, terrifying fantasy world and how even that is preferable to living in Tokyo surrounded by the faceless masses, and while he’s playing his video game, some of his reactions feel dark and almost violent. Yet, as he goes about his day at school, this personality trait of his is extremely toned-down to the point that he comes across as merely introverted. He’s curious about why Hakozaki and Shindou seem to be focused on him, and when he’s interacting with them in the fantasy world there are times where he seems more like the straight man in a comedy series rather than jackass stewing under the cover of his lonerism. Yet the episode closes with a sinister sneer crawling across his face as he abandons his surviving party member in the village to make a go of things on his own.

Video games are preferable to human interaction.

This unbalance in Yosuke’s character portrayal is possibly the biggest reason why I had difficulty connecting with this story, although the lack of focus extends to other parts of the production. As Yosuke and friends embark on their goblin-fighting quest, there’s no real feeling of danger even though each player gets killed multiple times due to their lack of power and experience with their weaponry. Later on, when the group is attacked in their sleep by the giant troll, there’s the sense that the suggestion of perma-death in this universe should feel heavier than it does. Instead, I get the impression that the episode is trying to ape similar series that have done a much better job at thrusting surprisingly real, permanent consequences into their fantasy mechanics and shocking the viewing audience in the process. A cheap imitation does not compelling storytelling make, unfortunately, and the end result is that this episode felt about twice as long as usual and without any tension or emotional payoff.

The rest of the production suffers from feeling generic. The Western-style fantasy world is mostly indistinct, as are the game-like elements of how the characters control and interact with their heroic abilities. There are some furtive attempts at quirkiness; the design of the half-headed Game Master and his peculiar way of speaking (he leaves off in the middle of words, which is captured in the episode’s subtitles as well) are kind of kooky, although I could do without having to see the handprints on his chest and the star on his crotch. But the world itself takes after the manner of many fantasy series and doesn’t necessarily feel like an important part of the story. It is, as has been immortalized in many a light novel description, the typical type of medieval setting.

The setting is fairly typical of fantasy anime.

One other issue that this episode has is its propensity for sharing vital information via weird info-dumps. Shindou-san becomes Yosuke’s de facto source of information, being the first to be recruited into this odd scenario, and she elaborates on some of the world’s mechanics and the things she’s accomplished so far. Yet she conveniently tends to leave important things unsaid until they become crucial to the immediate situation. More than once, she gives Yosuke the old “oh, did I forget to mention that?” line, and it gets to be bothersome once it happens multiple times. Why the trickle-truth? Leaving out details doesn’t serve the story well and only seems to artificially draw things out.

I’ve certainly seen anime series that are more outwardly frustrating or even insulting in their content. In those cases, though, it’s much easier to have a passionate opinion in one way or the other. The infuriating about middling anime series is that there are often glimpses of things that could have been done better, as well as elements that are off-putting enough that it makes one hesitant to stick around and see the story through. About the most distinct thing I can say about this episode is that it’s indistinct and that some aspects of the protagonist’s characterization are starting to raise some red flags. While I assume the story arc will follow Yosuke’s evolution into someone who can rely on others, I don’t feel like the character as he’s shown to be at this moment can organically reach that endpoint without it feeling false or trite.

Pros: Some mild suggestion that the protagonist will eventually learn he has to work together with others to succeed.

Cons: The tone often seems confused. The protagonist’s characterization is often confused. The way information is conveyed to the protagonist (and by extension the viewer) feels false.

Content Warnings: Some body horror. Fantasy violence.

Grade: C-

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