Is it a Return? Only Time Will Tell

Over the past couple of years my writing output has gone way down (like 99.99% down, haha) from whatever you might call my “peak” output. There are a lot of reasons for this that I think at least some people might relate to. Firstly, I had a kid; while I don’t think being busy is limited to people with offspring, I’ve found that, for me, the mental space that parenting takes up has tended to push out a lot of other things that haven’t been immediately necessary. Secondly, the internet has gone through some changes that have been difficult to navigate. There was the fall of Twitter/X (yes, I know it still exists but it’s not been a place I’ve wanted to be for a long time; I’ve started spending more time on Bluesky though), but I think even bigger has been the rise of AI Large Language Models and how that may be contributing to some of the apprehensive feelings I’ve had to engaging online.

I honestly have no idea how much of a problem LLMs have been in the anime blogging space since I haven’t been reading a lot of other people’s writing again until recently, and some of the writers I used to follow have also decided to discontinue updating (I can’t blame them, since as I’ve experienced life just has a tendency to get in the way of hobbies). I have no reason to believe that it’s a pervasive issue in this space. But I do spend a lot of time on Reddit and the AI creep is definitely starting to make a mark though much of that is my own gut feeling. Karma-farming bots and posts that are at the very least edited with AI tools are becoming more normal, at least. I’m in some communities that examine videos for telltale markers of AI production, and it’s getting more difficult to tell. For a long time I wondered what the new technology would be that turned me into a curmudgeon, and after having AI tools pushed on my at my day job I think I’m ready to say that it’s this.

That said, I’m not one to dwell in hopelessness, so I thought it might be time to do some writing of my own, if only to prove to myself that I had something useful or worthwhile to say. As a Minneapolis local I spent much of the Winter months just dealing with a constant low hum of stress and needed to come up with my own ways of pushing back and bringing calm and connection to my small corner of the world, so I started to keep a handwritten journal as a way of record-keeping and resisting the urge to doom scroll. This was at the same time as I was preparing to help run a local anime convention and working my day job, not to mention catching up on quite a bit of anime from the past year. So my days were pretty full and I kept myself from having a breakdown at the same time.

When I look at the anime series and movies from the past year (April through March) it’s interesting to think about the sheer variety of what stood out to me the most. One might think that, being in a stressful state of mind, that cozy series might be what the doctor ordered, but the first series that I watched that really stuck around in my mind was The Summer Hikaru Died, which at its most basic can be described as extremely uncomfortable. The way it alludes to Yoshiki’s grappling with his identity in addition to the fact that he’s been left to manage the consequences of what his friend has become has really lingered in my heart over the months. I’ve often claimed that uncomfortable fiction allows us a safe space to experience emotions that would be a struggle in the moment, and I think this is a good example of that. It’s cathartic, in a way.

I feel similarly about Takopi’s Original Sin, which I’ve mentioned in front of several groups of people is a deeply affecting series for which I would feel irresponsible about providing a blanket recommendation. The series is so short that it feels like someone running up to you in the hallway and smacking you in the back of the head, then disappearing before you have the time to process anything but the original sting of the impact. But over the days, like the dull ache that arrives later on, its insight about the darker shadows of our nature and the potential answers (maybe we do just need to talk things out sometimes?) continues to dwell in our minds. I still think it’s not the anime series for everyone, but I do think it’s more than just its initial shock value.

Having said that, darkness is nothing without the light to contrast it, and I found myself enjoying the quiet solace of some of this past year’s warmer and more approachable stories. Anne Shirley was, to paraphrase some friends, a surprise hit with me. I’ve never read the books (I was definitely more a Little House on the Prairie kid) but was immediately grabbed by the charm of the titular character and the gentle flow of the characters’ lives over the several years of the story. I think what I found comforting about it in particular was the way that Anne met her challenges and stepped into the opportunities she had available to her. Though looking back through modern eyes one knows that her gender likely limited what those opportunities were and in the context of the story there were times where it definitely affected the choices she had to make, I always felt as though Anne was able to roll with the punches in a way that felt real and satisfying.

Likewise, I felt that Love Through a Prism filled a bit of that same void for me when it dropped with little fanfare earlier this year. While it’s a bit more focused around its central romantic relationship, its presentation of artistic beauty and the drive of its characters to somehow capture just a piece of it on canvas often left me feeling breathless. I even stayed up late a couple of times to finish watching it sooner which, for someone like me for whom sleep can be elusive, speaks to just how much I loved it.

I could probably go on for a while – about New Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt‘s gleeful vulgarity, or Apocalypse Hotel‘s optimistic post-apocalyptic landscape. But I think the point I’m trying to make for myself is simply that despite the real world being what it is, there’s still a lot of room left for stories that allow us to feel the full range of emotion that our hearts are capable of, and to be able to express that is something that AI still can’t manage

What anime has kept you sane lately? Let me know below!